I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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