your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
