party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
