Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
