You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
