i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
