is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
