It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
