I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
