I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
