Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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