I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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