Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
