The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
