Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dignity is for republicans.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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