I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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