Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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