If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Operation Purity has been aborted
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
