Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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