dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
ttyl tear gas
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
