Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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