it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
