eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
