I accidentally had phone sex last night
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
