How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
