She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
not ubering you a puppy
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