Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Little spoons don't ask big questions
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
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