Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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