oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
