i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
