wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
