only if we run a train.
done.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize