Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
