3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
