I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
did you just send me my own nude
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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