im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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