So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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