I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
