if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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