The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
