i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
