We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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