I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize