Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
