don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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