I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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