I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
