When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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