Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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