Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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