am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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