Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
