if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
