i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
