Kiss
Puke
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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