new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
