Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
