So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
