2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
