So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There r osticjed everywhere
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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