i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize