fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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