I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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