i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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