i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
