I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
