I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just had sex on a roof
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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