But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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