Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
