I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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