my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
