I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
whose parrot is this?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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