If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
