conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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