the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
is that a dick in a sweater?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
