so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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