i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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