Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
