i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
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